Here’s the one thing I desire from God, the one thing I seek above all else: I want the privilege of living with him every moment in his house, finding the sweet loveliness of his face, filled with awe, delighting in his glory and grace. I want to live my life so close to him that he takes pleasure in my every prayer.

Psalms 27:4 TPT

It’s a new year and also, a new decade. So many people around the world are making new year resolutions, mantras and goals they hope to achieve this new year.

As 2019 was coming to an end, I sat and reviewed the year, I remember crying out to Jesus for something different in 2020. Something that I would never forget, and the Holy Spirit brought this scripture to my mind. So this is the singular desire in 2020 for me. To seek the Lord above all else, to know his ways, to come out from hiding, from shrinking myself. To dwell in his presence where I can continually learn from him, be with him and just admire him, because I know that everything I need and desire is in him and I don’t want it to just be something I know in my head but in my heart and truly live it out.

2019 ended a decade and a chapter of my life. I realized I’m an adult. Like legit a full blown adult now. Wild 🌚. I am responsible for my own life now. Whatever my life will be in the next decade is dependent on my decisions and nobody else’s. Well, that’s a sobering thought and I realized that every decision I make moving forward has to be with clarity and purpose. See why I need Jesus more than ever?

I want to get rid of the niggling feeling of fear and guilt I’ve had for the better part of the last decade. The feeling that I’m not and will never be enough. The feeling that I don’t matter in the grand scheme of things and what’s this life really for even after serving God? The lies that I allowed the devil to feed me whenever I remember my previous decisions and mistakes. I want to live unashamed in the presence of God throughout 2020.

To learn to see things from his perspective and not mine. That his ways are always good no matter how difficult it may seem in the moment. That he is good and just at the same time. That he loves me with an everlasting love. That he has made a provision for my weakness in the plans he has prepared for me that are for good and not evil.

His word tells me that in his presence there is fullness of joy and pleasures forevermore and I choose to believe that. That my prayers and tears are not entering the voicemail of heaven but going directly to the heart of the Father.

Everyday I wake up, my approach to seeking him is this. To offer myself as a living sacrifice which is my proper worship of the one I love.

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering”

Romans 12: 1 MSG

This will I do in 2020, so help me God.

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